Shokupan Dreams

On being fearless in the kitchen plus tasty ideas to spread

Dear Sensei,

I have a confession: even after years of cooking, trying something new in the kitchen can still feel daunting.

I often wonder, “Why am I not fearless yet?” After all, I turned my entire culinary future upside down when, as a cake designer, I agreed to cater a sushi party - despite having NEVER made, seen, or even tasted sushi before! Isn’t it funny how some of life’s best decisions come from not overthinking? Those first sushi experiences, born from a mix of curiosity, the invincibility of youth and yes, even the desire to impress a crush, taught me lessons I still carry into my kitchen today - lessons I’m reminded of as I stare at yet another untouched recipe. Right now that recipe is shokupan (Japanese milk bread).

Here’s the thing, I still find myself overthinking the outcome. I wonder if it will turn out just like the gorgeous (and probably highly styled) photo. Or I expect that each new original idea or tweak will be perfect, including and maybe especially the first time.

I often think back to those days when I was first making sushi. Was I scared or apprehensive then? That would be a resounding yes. As I flipped through Japanese cookbooks from the library—most with only a recipe or two, or at best, a chapter on sushi—I began to grasp the gravity of what I had said yes to. I remember how clumsy the bamboo rolling mat felt in my hands, its rough texture in my palms as I struggled to keep the sticky rice from clinging to my fingertips. The sharp tang of the rice vinegar filled the room. Its heavy aroma was so potent in the air that it felt like I burned out several nose hairs as I fanned the steaming rice grains to cool.

That first sushi experience wasn’t just a step into the unknown - it was a leap into a world of possibilities. And though I’ve come a long way since then, staring at an untouched recipe, like shokupan, sometimes still brings back those familiar nerves. I’ve been at this long enough to know that not every dish I make is going to be a ten or be “Instagram worthy”. Especially not the first time I try it. That first sushi experience reminds me that it is the journey itself rather than the destination where the magic happens.

So, Sensei, my big reminder for 2025 is to remember to stay on the “growing edge” - to embrace a little of the unfamiliar where creativity and courage thrive. Thank you for teaching me that curiosity is always worth the risk, whether it’s making my first sushi or finally jumping in to try those shokupan recipes.

Breadtime Stories: Toppings for My Shokupan Dreams

I like to think of shokupan as a soft, fluffy pillow—one destined for so much more than a standard schmear. Here are five delicious toppings I can’t wait to spread, slather, and devour on each cloud-like slice. Stay tuned for my shokupan-making adventures—they’re happening ASAP!

Black Sesame Date Spread: sweet, nutty, and sultry with a hint of mandarin orange
Matcha Cream Cheese: earthy and slightly sweet
Nori Jam: sweet, salty, and umami-y
Furikake Butter: salty and savory
Miso-Chocolate Nut Spread: If miso and Nutella had a love child…

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Black Sesame Date Spread
Makes about ½ cup

• About 10 pitted dates

• ¼ cup water, reserved from soaking

• 1 Tablespoon fresh mandarin orange juice

• ¼ teaspoon mandarin orange zest

• 1 Tablespoon black sesame seeds

1. Cover dates with boiling water and soak for 10 minutes to soften. Drain the dates, reserving ¼ cup of the soaking water.

2. Add the dates, reserved water, fresh mandarin orange juice, mandarin orange zest, and black sesame seeds to a food processor. Pulse until a chunky paste forms. Can be refrigerated up to 5 days.

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Matcha Cream Cheese
Makes 1 cup

• 8 oz cream cheese, softened (I use plant-based.)

• 2 teaspoons matcha powder

• 2 Tablespoons maple syrup

Add the ingredients to a food processor. Blend until smooth. Store refrigerated up to 5 days.

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Nori Jam
Makes 1 cup

• 5 sheets nori, chopped (8 in x 7 in full-sized sheets)

• 1 cup water

• ¼ cup soy sauce

• 3 Tablespoons sugar

• ¼ teaspoon agar agar powder, optional

1. Add the nori, water, soy sauce, and sugar to a small saucepan and bring to a gentle, near simmer.

2. Stir in the agar agar powder if using, and allow to simmer for 10 minutes. (If not using agar agar powder, still simmer 10 minutes. The jam will be a little looser.) Cool completely before refrigerating. Can be refrigerated up to 14 days.

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Furikake Butter
Makes 1 cup

• 1 cup butter, softened (I use plant-based.)

• 1 Tablespoon high quality soy sauce

• 2 Tablespoons furikake

• 1 Tablespoon chopped scallion

Place all the ingredients in a bowl and stir until all ingredients are evenly incorporated. Store refrigerated up to 14 days.

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Miso-Chocolate Nut Spread
Makes a little over ½ cup

• ½ cup peanut butter or your favorite nut/seed butter

• 2 Tablespoons white miso, mixed with 4 Tablespoons hot water

• 2 Tablespoons water, or more as needed to reach desired consistency

• 2 Tablespoons cocoa powder

• 2 -3 Tablespoons maple syrup (2 for bittersweet, 3 for semi-sweet)

• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

• pinch of salt

Add the ingredients to a food processor. Blend until smooth. If it’s too thick, add water 1 Tablespoon at a time to reach desired consistency. Store in the refrigerator up to 5 days.