Onigiri and The Friendships We Carry

plus two onigiri recipes to try

Within what felt like moments of hitting publish on my last story about Assistant Sensei (the one with the flirtation and the cookie bar) my phone lit up. Joan was calling me.

Joan, by the way, is a sushi chef who also trained at The California Sushi Academy, though we weren’t there at the same time.

Before I could even finish my sentence, she was already laughing, confirming exactly who she thought I was talking about. Like many of our calls, we fell into our usual rhythm of swapping Sensei stories, reliving lessons that stuck, and side-eyeing the ones that didn’t. And as always, our conversation circled back to a common theme: what it means to be a woman in sushi.

International Women’s Day was last week, and it had me thinking about the sushi industry. When I chose this path over 20 years ago, I knew I was stepping into a space where women were often absent. I made my peace with that but held onto hope that being a female sushi chef would become more common with time. And don’t get me wrong, it has changed since then. Just not with the momentum I imagined. Sushi still feels like one of the last boys' club holdouts. Luckily, over time, I found my people. Women who, like me, refused to let tradition define what was possible.

Joan is one of those people. Though we just missed each other by one session, we studied with the same Sensei and held the same dreams in our hands two decades ago. Hands that many said weren’t meant for sushi.

When we first met, we had an instant kinship. It is the kind of connection that comes from stepping into a world not built for you and deciding to stay anyway. And it’s not just about being women in sushi. It’s about understanding, without needing to explain, what it feels like to push against the boundaries of expectation.

Joan lives on Whidbey Island, Washington, while I’m in Nashville, Tennessee, so we don’t get to catch up in person as often as we’d like. When we do sit across from each other, it’s usually over sushi or dim sum, chopsticks clicking between stories and bites. Ours is the kind of table you want to pull up a chair to. The one filled with unfiltered laughter, animated storytelling, and way too much food ordered "just to try."

But even with all the miles between us, our friendship is sustained by long phone calls, Zooms, and plenty of laughter. We talk about it all: the ridiculous, the challenging, and the moments that shaped us. And always, food. The sushi we’ve made, the dishes we crave, the meals that comfort us. And, of course, the important things, like spilling the (green) tea about Assistant Sensei.

In one of our recent conversations, we were talking about onigiri (Japanese rice balls) and how it feels like something more than a quick meal. It’s humble yet complete. Something you carry with you, something that nourishes beyond hunger. Perhaps that’s why we love it so much. It reminds us of the friendships we carry, too. The ones built on shared experiences, the ones that don’t need explanation, and, like ours, are always there to nourish when you need them most.

If Joan and I were in the same city, I know we’d be making sushi (and possibly mischief!) together. For now, our kitchen is the screen between us, and our sushi-making is a conversation stretched across miles. But the best friendships don’t need proximity to thrive. All they need is a shared love of food, a willingness to laugh, and endless stories waiting to be told.

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Onigiri Basics

Onigiri, Japanese Rice Balls

What I love most about onigiri, Japanese rice balls, is how something so simple can feel so personal and comforting. Whether packed for lunch, grabbed as a quick snack, or tucked into a picnic basket, onigiri always brings a little moment of joy.

They come in many shapes and sizes, though the classic triangle is the most recognizable. Onigiri are often laid-back and effortless, made with humble leftovers like last night’s teriyaki. These are easy to throw together and are just as comforting as your favorite worn-in sweats. But sometimes I like a touch of glam and like to make my onigiri a little more dressed up. For those I fill with something special and top with a spoonful of vegan caviar. I like to think of these as onigiri’s Friday night glow-up.

There are two main styles of onigiri, each offering its own delicious experience:

• Mixed-Style Onigiri – Where flavorful ingredients are blended directly into the rice before shaping. This style is easy, no-fuss, and great for meal prep. Every bite is evenly seasoned, and you don’t have to worry about fillings spilling out.

• Filled-Style Onigiri – Where the rice is shaped around a hidden center of flavor. This style can be dressed up and coated in sesame seeds or furikake, or given a stylish top hat where a hint of the filling teases what’s inside.

Onigiri is meant to be a handheld food, and nori (seaweed) is often wrapped around it to add a crisp texture and keep your fingers from getting sticky.

Want to dive deeper into the world of onigiri? Check out my website for a full onigiri guide, including shaping techniques, filling ideas, and tips for perfecting this humble but mighty rice ball.

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Two Styles, Two Onigiri Recipes

Mushroom Pâté-Filled Onigiri and Cherry Blossom Mixed-Style Onigiri

Just like no two sushi chefs have the exact same touch, no two onigiri are exactly alike. Joan was craving something rich and savory. Her onigiri is the filled style with black sesame seed stuffed rice wrapped around a thick, luscious mushroom pâté.

Meanwhile, I’ve been in full cherry blossom mode. My version takes the mixed style approach, where everything is folded directly into the rice. Salt-pickled cherry blossoms, blanched spinach, and white sesame seeds create a delicate balance, while a touch of sakura powder gives it a soft, spring-pink hue.

Both are simple, comforting, and meant to be shared. Whether you go for the deep umami of Joan’s or the floral, springtime notes of mine, you’ll end up with something nourishing and delicious.

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Joan’s Mushroom Pâté Onigiri

Makes 4 onigiri
Ingredients:

• 2 ½ cups cooked short-grain rice

• 1 tablespoon black sesame seeds, or more to taste

• 1 teaspoon salt (for wetting hands)

• 4 strips nori (seaweed), for wrapping

Mushroom Filling:

• ½ cup mixed mushrooms, finely chopped (shiitake, oyster, or cremini)

• 2 teaspoons soy sauce

• 1 teaspoon sesame oil

Instructions:

1. Make the Filling: Sauté the mushrooms in sesame oil over medium heat until softened, about 5 minutes. Add soy sauce and cook for another minute. Transfer to a food processor and pulse into a pâté-like texture. Let cool.

2. Prepare the Rice: Gently mix black sesame seeds into the warm rice.

3. Shape the Onigiri: Wet your hands with water, sprinkle with salt, and scoop about ⅔ cup of rice into your palm. (Or press into an onigiri mold.) Make an indentation, add a heaping tablespoon of filling, and fold the rice over to seal. Add a pinch or two more of rice, if needed. Gently shape into a triangle. Repeat with remaining rice and filling.

4. Wrap & Serve: Just before serving, press a strip of nori onto the bottom of each onigiri and enjoy!

Need more detailed instructions? View this recipe here.

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Sakura Blossom Onigiri

Makes 4 Onigiri
Ingredients:

• 2 ½ cups cooked short-grain rice

• 2 tbsp pickled sakura blossoms, rinsed, soaked, and finely chopped

• 1 tsp sakura powder

• ¼ cup spinach, blanched and drained

• 1 tsp salt (for wetting hands)

• 4 whole pickled sakura blossoms (for garnish)

Instructions:

1. Mix the Rice: Gently fold the chopped sakura, sakura powder, and blanched spinach into the warm rice.

2. Shape the Onigiri: Wet hands with water, sprinkle with salt, and scoop about ⅔ cup of rice into your palm. Gently press into a triangle shape. Or use an onigiri mold.

3. Garnish & Serve: Press a whole sakura blossom onto the top of each onigiri. Serve immediately or wrap for later.

Need more detailed instructions? View this recipe here.

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What’s Up Next?

This Sunday, March 16, is the monthly bonus edition, where I'll be doing a deep dive on methods and recipes for Japanese pickling. These bonus editions are free for now, but in the future, they'll be exclusively for paid subscribers.

Free Live-Streamed Cooking Class: I’m teaching a free vegan bento cooking class with Chef Adam Sobel, and I’d love for you to join us! March 30th at 4 pm EST.